Auditions are the worst! Most people who do them often would agree.

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For me, it's all about the prep—the search for that perfect song and/or monologue to stand out.

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It has to fit the tone of the show and the character you’re going for. It can only be so long. AND you want to pick something that hopefully won’t be done 1000 times during the process.

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So you go - you take your one shot to impress a panel of people, who you may or may not know, and hope that it’s the one day your voice doesn’t fail you.

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Within 10 minutes, you’re done, and then you have to wait for however long to hear if you have a callback and/or are in or out.

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During that time, you are asked by everyone, “How did your audition go?”

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I am thankful to say I have a very supportive family, and I already know my post audition questions will be:

• How did the audition go?

• What is the show again?

• When would the show be?

• What is the show about?

• Would it be a show I like?

• When will you find out?

• What roles did you want?

• When did you even practice? (I have this thing where even my family has to buy tickets to see me sing, as I keep all rehearsals in my car)
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And as I have a larger family, I will answer these questions multiple times - and as much as I might roll my eyes, I’m thankful that they care enough to ask.

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Staying behind the scenes for the last 3 shows I’ve been a part of has allowed me not to deal with the anxiety. Behind the scenes means you just do the job you said you would do; sure, you often have to fill out an application and have an interview, but the stakes seem lower.

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So here I am - sitting at a Starbucks, changing my audition song for the 5th time, in a matter of 2 days, hoping that I finally have the right one, so that I can be a part of a show that changed my life…

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“And if you don’t get it?”

Then I don’t. There will be a time of doubt, a time of mourning, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have talent or that I am not capable. I am making some stricter decisions for myself right now, which means that all the doors that are currently closed are ones that I chose not to open.

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If a show has changed your life, that can never be taken from you, no matter what - it changed you for a reason, and it will forever be a part of who you are.

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Do auditions suck? Yes

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Does the outcome mean you have to give up? Never