Dreamers need a doer to steady them—to ensure the work gets done, to help keep life in balance. When searching for a life partner, it feels important to complement each other in this way.
 

Or at least, that’s what I used to believe.
 

I am a dreamer who met another dreamer. In my mind, we would take turns—times to dream, and times to do.

His dream was a big one, and I supported it fully. He wanted to help others and change the world we live in. It had been a dream of mine, too, and for a while, we were doers together.
 

But his dream kept growing. And slowly, I stepped back. I focused on the doing, and let my own dreams fall quiet.

His dream continued, and all my life I had been told: “the man is the head of the household,” “wives, submit to your husband,” “a good Christian doesn’t get a divorce,” “just pray harder.”
 

These were teachings I had always accepted at face value. I never questioned them, never dug deeper, never stopped to ask what they truly meant.
 

I simply did what I thought I had to do.
 

I pushed away friends. I distanced myself from family. I listened to the man I had chosen as my husband, believing it was what God had asked of me. Even when something didn’t sit right, I pushed those thoughts aside and told myself this was just my life.
 

I worked countless jobs, slept very little, and became the doer in every part of our lives.

Then, a dream came back to me—the dream of going back to school. And he supported it. We moved. I went to school. He worked. We continued our non-profit work.
 

I went to school. He lost his job. We continued our non-profit work.
 

I went to school. He still had no job. We continued our non-profit work.
 

I went to school. He still had no job. We continued our non-profit work.
 

I went to school. COVID hit. We continued our non-profit work.
 

I went to school. COVID lingered. He still had no job. We continued our non-profit work.

I convinced myself that this was enough. That I was finally doing something for me. That I should be grateful he had “allowed” me to go to school. The least I could do was work in the summers to fund our non-profit efforts, and rely on OSAP to carry us through the rest of the year.
 

I told myself that this one dream made up for all the others I had let go. That if nothing else ever came to be, this would be enough.
 

I told myself I was okay not dreaming… until I wasn’t.
 

Dreams help us endure the hard days—or at least make them a little less heavy.
 

Dreams push us to grow, to set goals, to turn those goals into something real.
 

Dreams allow us to become who we are meant to be.
 

I am now both a dreamer and a doer—and I highly recommend it.
 

Yes, there are times when we need a doer to balance us—a partner, a friend, a family member. But they deserve space to dream too. And sometimes, you get to be the one who helps bring their dreams to life.

Be a dreamer - be a doer!
 

(For those of you who grew up as I did, hearing the same messages: take the time to truly listen to what Christ is saying—not just what others say about Him. His words are often taken out of context, but His peace will guide you where you are meant to go.
 

And for those who share His word: please make space for those who are struggling. Let them speak.
 

I once had a pastor tell me I wasn’t trying hard enough to save my marriage—that divorce was not an option. They didn’t listen; they only spoke. And if I had followed that voice, as I had so many times before, I may never have found my way back to dreaming.)