Sigh — it’s been a week. It’s been… a time. My therapist and I have started digging a little deeper—into my marriage, into old patterns—and it’s bringing up wounds I thought had already healed.

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Not saying they haven’t. But it feels like they’re being opened back up just to check for any kind of infection—making sure nothing’s been left behind to quietly grow.

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It takes strength to face stuff like this. But it also takes love—the kind that holds you up when it all feels heavy. And for me, I’m beyond grateful for Aidan—my partner.

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All of this has had me thinking about what it took for us to even meet, and what “dating” really means.

I didn’t date in high school. I had plenty of crushes, but nothing ever came from them.

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In college, I met my ex-husband. We had the same friends, went to the same church, led the same youth group… and if you’ve read my past blogs, you know the rest.

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After that, I wasn’t in any rush. I didn’t want to force anything, so I was on and off the apps for a while. I went on a few dates here and there, but nothing really stuck. Eventually, I got tired of the same conversations—like debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza—and just stopped bothering.

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Later, I was encouraged to try again. But I kept hearing things like, “you can’t say that,” or “don’t show how crazy you are right away.” And honestly, that didn’t sit right with me. So again, I stepped back.

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That’s when I decided that if I was going to meet someone, it would be through a real connection—someone who already knew me, or someone a friend thought I should meet.

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And that’s exactly what happened.

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I became friends with Elisabeth, who told me I should meet her brother-in-law, Aidan.

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In May 2024, we had our first virtual date. I showed up as my awkward self—because I was way past trying to be anyone else. And somehow… he liked it. Enough for another date, then another, then meeting in person. And now here we are—almost two years into knowing each other.

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Through it all, we’ve been honest. He knows about my past, my marriage, and the things I’m still working through.

If I can give any relationship advice, it’s this: Be honest, always.

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Be honest about who you are, your dreams, the good, the bad, and the messy parts. Don’t hide pieces of yourself just to fit what you think someone else wants. Be honest—and trust.

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Yeah, it can be awkward sometimes. And we live in a world where it’s easy to feel like you have to filter yourself to be accepted. But if you can’t be real with someone, they’re not for you.

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You deserve patience. You deserve support. You deserve love.

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You deserve someone who, when old wounds come back up, doesn’t make you feel guilty or small. Someone who stays. Who supports you. Who may not always understand, but chooses to stand beside you and love you through it anyway. Remember, healing is a journey you don't have to take alone. Hold out for that kind of love—and give it, too.