This one’s for my mom… Yes, you, Lisa!

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While I am a strong believer that family is who we choose to be family, I have to say that I lucked out hard with the family I was born into. I would choose every single one of them, any day, to be my family.

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Now, don’t get me wrong—my mom and I have a pretty typical mother-daughter relationship. We don’t always get along, and there were years when I barely spoke to her or made much of an effort to have a relationship with her at all.

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And while some of that was out of my control, there were still moments when I had a choice. At that point in my life, I chose what I thought would bring a little more peace to my home.

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It was a time when I lived more by “we only love someone if…” and much less by the way I try to live now: “we simply are here to love.”

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One moment from that “we only love someone if…” chapter of my life is still crystal clear.

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When I moved to Mexico, it was day two or three in our new home. My ex-husband and I went to a store to get SIM cards for our phones—or so I thought.

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What I didn’t know was that we were only getting one for him. I was told we couldn’t afford for both of us to have one.

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I stood in the middle of that store, tears rolling down my face, in a country where I barely understood the language.

 

And the first thing I remember saying was:

“But how will I call my mom?”

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At the time, my parents and I had a very rocky relationship. But even then, I knew I wanted to be able to call her when I needed to.

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More rocky times would follow, even after we moved back to Ontario.

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But COVID was a good time for me.

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I know that might be controversial to say, but without it, I honestly don’t know if I would be talking to my family the way I am today.

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It was during that time that I made the decision to leave. I packed up my car, and I moved back home.

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That was five years ago.

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Over those five years, I have healed, grown, and patched relationships that needed patching. And while nothing is ever perfect, things are nowhere near the mess they once were.

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Through it all, my mom has shown me nothing but love and grace. And together, we’ve started creating new, wholesome memories that I never would have imagined possible.

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We had our first mother-daughter vacation, where I got to show her Disney through my eyes.

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We’ve shared so many more laughs, taken day trips, volunteered together, and even on the days when we disagree, there is never a question that we love one another.

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Not only have I grown over these last five years, but I have had the privilege of watching my mom grow, too.

I’ve watched her grow in her thoughts, her understanding, her love, and her support—not only for me, but for the people around her.

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I never would have imagined that I’d get the opportunity to do a 5K with my mom in January.

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And NEVER did I think I’d see her go to a production of RENT.

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And, just a little heads-up: she supports me so much that she’s going twice.

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I am so incredibly proud of her, because I know that is going to push her outside of her comfort zone—and she’s doing it anyway.

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I am so grateful to have the biological mom I do, because I know not everyone is as lucky as I am in that sense.

Lisa, here’s to you.

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Here’s to all the journeys we’ve been through, all the healing we’ve done, all the memories we’ve made, and all the memories and adventures still to come.

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I love you.